We have our appointment tomorrow afternoon to find out the full MRI results. I cannot explain how badly I want 1:45 pm tomorrow to come.
We got the initial results yesterday, from our nurse practitioner, who said that there is indeed a defect on the spine, however, there are no nerves that are coming outside of the spine. As far as Spina Bifida goes, that's great news. She said "that's a very good thing regarding mobility". (There are 3 types of Spina Bifida, and the type where the nerves do NOT go outside of the spine is much less severe compared to when the nerves do go outside). So although we were sad to have Spina Bifida confirmed, we were pretty encouraged that our baby would maybe have a fair amount of mobility. We did though take it with a grain of salt, since we knew that the results we got from her wouldn't be the full results, and that she'd leave the prognosis to the doctor later on. But we still felt fairly encouraged.
But then I had a routine appointment with my OB, who had received the results as well. She told me that the part that's affected is very large, and is high enough on the back that it means that our child will never walk, and that I'll even stop feeling fetal movement as the pregnancy progresses.
Our minds are just spinning. From such promising news to such sad news in less than 24 hours, I just don't know what to think or how to feel. What I do know is that I love this little guy so much already, and it's totally not dependent on if he's in a wheel chair or not. I will love and adore him and do whatever is necessary for him to experience life to it's fullest. He will not hear the words "You can't" from me. But knowing that so many things will be a struggle for him, and that he'll be labeled and judged and mistreated by others, it breaks my heart. The things I wish for and pray for most for our daughter and our unborn child are that they would be healthy, happy and that they would love and know the Lord. I know those things are out of our hands, but actually having a child with such a serious disorder, well, it's just a totally different reality.
We got the initial results yesterday, from our nurse practitioner, who said that there is indeed a defect on the spine, however, there are no nerves that are coming outside of the spine. As far as Spina Bifida goes, that's great news. She said "that's a very good thing regarding mobility". (There are 3 types of Spina Bifida, and the type where the nerves do NOT go outside of the spine is much less severe compared to when the nerves do go outside). So although we were sad to have Spina Bifida confirmed, we were pretty encouraged that our baby would maybe have a fair amount of mobility. We did though take it with a grain of salt, since we knew that the results we got from her wouldn't be the full results, and that she'd leave the prognosis to the doctor later on. But we still felt fairly encouraged.
But then I had a routine appointment with my OB, who had received the results as well. She told me that the part that's affected is very large, and is high enough on the back that it means that our child will never walk, and that I'll even stop feeling fetal movement as the pregnancy progresses.
Our minds are just spinning. From such promising news to such sad news in less than 24 hours, I just don't know what to think or how to feel. What I do know is that I love this little guy so much already, and it's totally not dependent on if he's in a wheel chair or not. I will love and adore him and do whatever is necessary for him to experience life to it's fullest. He will not hear the words "You can't" from me. But knowing that so many things will be a struggle for him, and that he'll be labeled and judged and mistreated by others, it breaks my heart. The things I wish for and pray for most for our daughter and our unborn child are that they would be healthy, happy and that they would love and know the Lord. I know those things are out of our hands, but actually having a child with such a serious disorder, well, it's just a totally different reality.
I just so want our appointment tomorrow to come so we can get some for sure answers. I mean, we won't really know for sure until he's born, but I'd love to be able to get a better handle on the range of possibilities.
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