Finally, someone has put words to how I feel

I found this wonderful blog post, and it's exactly how I feel (except the part about butterflies, since they scare me stupid).

The peace we've been given by God is REAL, it is not a show, it is not a rouse because we're a ministry family. We give all the glory for being able to go through this with hope, peace, comfort and joy, to GOD and GOD alone. It is not by our strength, and that's why it doesn't make sense to the world. It is not because we have been hiding our real feelings, and it is not because we are deluded or naive about what's to come. We love our baby boy, and we are excited for his life. Come what may, that doesn't change.

Here's the link, and just in case, the text also:
http://www.aworthyjourney.com/2008/12/god-gave-me-butterflies.html

I truly believe that God talks to us all the time if we just take the time to listen.  After I found out about Madi's diagnosis, I decided that I wasn't going to cry or be sad for her.  She was strong and God chose her for a reason, just as he chose me as her mother, David as her father, and Conner as her brother.  I knew that we could do this and our job wasn't to mourn, but to fight for her and give her the best life possible.  I knew it would all be ok, and God wanted to make sure that I knew He was beside us fighting for us, working out all the details, and paving the way for us.  I've always loved butterflies, which, of course, He knows.  From the day that I found out that Madi had spina bifida until the day that she was delivered, He sent me butterflies.  Every single day, no matter what the weather, I saw at least one butterfly.  They were my reminder that we could get through this and that everything would be ok.  Just as a butterfly, we would learn to adapt to change and life would be beautiful!